"Turn away from sin and follow the gospel."
How will you do this? How can you do this?
I always believe the lenten season is not about sacrifice, it's about serving and feasting in God's love. It's about serving God's family and making a life that is good for all. Giving up video games for lent is good, so you may take sacrifices that can remind you of the greatest sacrifice of all, Jesus and His suffering...but how does giving up video games help others? And after lent, do you continue to play video games at the same extent, or even more? Lenten sacrifices are supposed to help better your lives and help create better habits so that you may be with God not only through the lenten season, but all year round.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Pinch a Loaf
Ever heard the term? I didn't hear it until this weekend...apparently it's a new phrase my dad learned, and he just had to share it with me...if you don't know what it means, I'll say look it up, because i don't want to explain it, but what it's about is definitely in my labels.
Beginning
This blog will be about people who influence my life, whether it be in good or bad. I believe that everyone comes to our life for a reason, whether it is for life, or just for a season. Everyone we know, everyone we interact with, even a stranger passing on the street can somehow change our life forever...even if we don't know it.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Feeling so incredibly unproductive.
After I graduate, I will be going to the Philippines, most likely, to study. It'll be exciting to see Lola and live with her again, as well as be back home.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
ND Mold
Here's the ND Mold (SELECT FEW)
Here's me and my friends select few of select few
I don't mean to show this to say that we're better...we're obviously not. I'm doing this because we don't fit the ND mold and we can never achieve the full Notre Dame experience. (I know I'm gonna get hate comments if people read this) but the truth is, Notre Dame is a wonderful place, an amazing place...but in order to get the Notre Dame experience, you have to fit in...as contradictory as that may seem...it's true.
Here's me and my friends select few of select few
I don't mean to show this to say that we're better...we're obviously not. I'm doing this because we don't fit the ND mold and we can never achieve the full Notre Dame experience. (I know I'm gonna get hate comments if people read this) but the truth is, Notre Dame is a wonderful place, an amazing place...but in order to get the Notre Dame experience, you have to fit in...as contradictory as that may seem...it's true.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Better in time
This is Leona Lewis' song. Ironically one of the phases I was in a few years ago, but I think everyone's been in that type of position. I think everyone's heart needs to get broken at least once, it's a part of growing up...I'm just glad that I am with the one I love now.
Its been the longest winter without you
I didnt know where to turn to
See somehow I cant forget you
After all that we've been through
go in, come in
thought i heard a knock
who's there? no one
thinking that i deserved it
now i realize that i really didnt know
you didnt notice, you mean everything
quickly im learning, to love again
all i know is, imma be ok
thought i couldnt live without you
its gonna hurt when it heals to
it'll all get better in time
eventhough i really love you
im gonna smile cause i deserve to
it'll all get better in time
how could i turn on the tv
without something there to remind me
was it all that easy
to just put aside your feelings
if im dreaming
dont wanna let, hurt my feelings
[Better In Time lyrics on http://www.kovideo.net]
but thats the path, i believe in
and i know that, time will heal it
you didnt notice, you mean everything
quickly im learning, to love again
all i know is, imma be ok
thought i couldnt live without you
its gonna hurt when it heals to
it'll all get better in time
eventhough i really love you
im gonna smile cause i deserve to
it'll all get better in time
since theres no more you and me
its time i let you go so i can be free
and live my life how it should be
no matter how hard it is ill be fine without you
yes i will
thought i couldnt live without you
its gonna hurt when it heals to
it'll all get better in time
eventhough i really love you
im gonna smile cause i deserve to
it'll all get better in time
(chorus till fade)
Its been the longest winter without you
I didnt know where to turn to
See somehow I cant forget you
After all that we've been through
go in, come in
thought i heard a knock
who's there? no one
thinking that i deserved it
now i realize that i really didnt know
you didnt notice, you mean everything
quickly im learning, to love again
all i know is, imma be ok
thought i couldnt live without you
its gonna hurt when it heals to
it'll all get better in time
eventhough i really love you
im gonna smile cause i deserve to
it'll all get better in time
how could i turn on the tv
without something there to remind me
was it all that easy
to just put aside your feelings
if im dreaming
dont wanna let, hurt my feelings
[Better In Time lyrics on http://www.kovideo.net]
but thats the path, i believe in
and i know that, time will heal it
you didnt notice, you mean everything
quickly im learning, to love again
all i know is, imma be ok
thought i couldnt live without you
its gonna hurt when it heals to
it'll all get better in time
eventhough i really love you
im gonna smile cause i deserve to
it'll all get better in time
since theres no more you and me
its time i let you go so i can be free
and live my life how it should be
no matter how hard it is ill be fine without you
yes i will
thought i couldnt live without you
its gonna hurt when it heals to
it'll all get better in time
eventhough i really love you
im gonna smile cause i deserve to
it'll all get better in time
(chorus till fade)
Addictions/Obsessions
I am addicted to:
-Scratchoff tickets
-Chocolate
-Gum
-The number 3
-Plastic Spoons
-Straws
-Water
-Club Penguin
-Love
-Anagrams
...TBC...
-Scratchoff tickets
-Chocolate
-Gum
-The number 3
-Plastic Spoons
-Straws
-Water
-Club Penguin
-Love
-Anagrams
...TBC...
Apology
I do apologize that my posts seem cynical and stressed or critical and judgmental, or overall just not the nicest things in the world...but I'm trying to look at my life critically and my environments, because I want to make the best of my life and be the best person I can be.
You think people would get it by now...
After 15+ years of experience, you think that people wouldn't piss on toilet seats anymore.
Falling
I feel like I'm falling again...even though I this time I have a parachute...a parachute that I know in the end prevents me from dying or crashing hard...but I just feel like I'm still falling so fast...falling too fast. I don't understand why college is so stressful sometimes. Or is it life? I don't really know. It seems like everything is chaos
Valentine Dream
So, this dream really is random, and I don't think meant much, but I figure I have a dream blog for a reason, so let me blog my dream.
The night of February 13th I had a dream that I was in my dad's office, however it's not his real life office, but some office I conjured in my mind. It didn't make cubicles like a regular office, but rather just random cubicle walls placed about and then a desk, at least where my dad was, yet the lady in front of him had a two wall cubicle. So for some reason I was there and then I was waiting for my dad and I realized that he was at home because Schwarzenegger, aka the governator, decided that every other friday state workers would have an unpaid day out of the office (this is real)...yet everyone else was there, so I was confused. Anyway, since it was valentines and I was sure that my dad would possibly be a bit upset that he wasn't at work that day, I started putting stuffed animals on his desk (because in dreams, things just pop into your hand that you need, you know)...anyway, as I did so one of my dad's office workers came by and peered from behind the one cubicle wall and said "heeey, i heard about your dad. sucks for the engineers...ten percent, damn." and I just had a general response...but that's all I can remember from the dream.
I don't know, it was weird that I dreamed that only the state engineers were affected by the 10% or whatever decrease in pay. It's so sad to see my state in such distress and debt. I hope the general economy, as well as California's general economy gets better soon.
The night of February 13th I had a dream that I was in my dad's office, however it's not his real life office, but some office I conjured in my mind. It didn't make cubicles like a regular office, but rather just random cubicle walls placed about and then a desk, at least where my dad was, yet the lady in front of him had a two wall cubicle. So for some reason I was there and then I was waiting for my dad and I realized that he was at home because Schwarzenegger, aka the governator, decided that every other friday state workers would have an unpaid day out of the office (this is real)...yet everyone else was there, so I was confused. Anyway, since it was valentines and I was sure that my dad would possibly be a bit upset that he wasn't at work that day, I started putting stuffed animals on his desk (because in dreams, things just pop into your hand that you need, you know)...anyway, as I did so one of my dad's office workers came by and peered from behind the one cubicle wall and said "heeey, i heard about your dad. sucks for the engineers...ten percent, damn." and I just had a general response...but that's all I can remember from the dream.
I don't know, it was weird that I dreamed that only the state engineers were affected by the 10% or whatever decrease in pay. It's so sad to see my state in such distress and debt. I hope the general economy, as well as California's general economy gets better soon.
Dear Abyss.
Oh, my dear sweet abyss...I feel like I just need to write and vent and try to relax just a bit.
There are points in life where all you feel you can do is scream, or cry, or scream and cry. I don't know why, but these last few weeks have been hard hitting, and it won't end until spring break, probably. I understand life is full of busyness and work and that we just have to get through it, and sometimes life is more work than play, but I just feel like I'm totally done with school and such.
I've had discussions with both my mom and with Michael, and it bothers me how this university, though it claims that this is such an amazing Catholic institution, yet in the people who come here, it doesn't necessarily seem that way. My mom pointed out, how much more in other institutions. Maybe it's because some of my values are different than my friends at other colleges and universities, but it just seems like they don't have the same issues I have here. Issues of people not being the best versions of themselves...or if they are, then that's scary that that's the best they can be.
It's not just the people here that have disappointed me, but different programs and expectations that have let me down. Ever since my brother was an RA (when I was eleven) I wanted to be an RA. Freshman year, my RA, Katie Kerr, changed my life. She is one of the most awesome people, and still checks up on me, and that meant a lot to me. This furthered my wanting to be an RA, and yet, I will not be one because of some dorm issues and some other issues...and this breaks my heart so much.
I came to Notre Dame because of ND Vision, thinking that I would be one of those college counselors, like John Paul, and Nikki, and Eric, and everyone else. Yet, I've tried three years to no avail. I feel like trying again next year, but that I still won't get it. And it makes me wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I'm not "pretty" or that I'm short or that I "look funny" because they make us submit a photo with our application, which makes me feel like we're judged on our looks, which doesn't seem Catholic to me.
I came to Notre Dame thinking I'd be joining this great community, this community of people who was a family, a family I wanted to belong to. A place where there was great fellowship and faith. Yet, the following happened: I was a part of the Freshman Peer Leader program, but had to discontinue due to working two jobs (a point i'll touch upon next). There was a retreat for FPL members coming up, and I still wanted to be a part of it because I thought it'd be cool. This is the response I got, "Since you are no longer a part of the Freshman Peer Leader program, you are not allowed to attend the FPL retreat." Uh, discrimination much? Whatever happened to being Catholic and understanding and acceptance?
Another thing that I am so frustrated about is the gap between the rich kids and the poor kids, it was there, and it wasn't bad, but now it just seems worse from the current economic situation. My boyfriend's father passed away, and before then, it wasn't like they were rolling in the millions, either...but that makes him responsible for paying for the house and the car and insurance and bills and everything...I work two jobs and am currently looking for a third job as well as try to maintain good grades while taking 20 credits so that I can pay off student loans, with over $2000 in interest already...yeah, interest. Then there are the students here who are rich because their parents came here and were successful, or their parents are just rich. Kids who don't realized how lucky and blessed to be here. Kids who get a mercedes for their 16th birthday. Of course there are people who have money and still have a level head...but really, the gap between the rich and poor here can be so apparent, and so hard on us that try to work and work just so that we have a chance at a life that others have without working at it.
The weird thing about this experience here is that though I dislike school here, or people here, or some of the policies or programs here...I still love Notre Dame and am so proud to be a part of it...but the Notre Dame I love is the Notre Dame the public sees, the Notre Dame that everyone is in awe of the fact that I attend school here. The Notre Dame that is prestigious and pays for students to come here based on need (yea, except it's only based on income, with no look at debt and medical bills), helping students foot the bill...guaranteeing that every student can and will receive aid if needed...and in full, if need be.
The university that I'm proud to be apart of is an ideal...but the reality is something far from this ideal. Is this ideal unachievable? Or has it been achieved and I'm blind to see it? Do I have too high of expectations? There are so many other things that bother me, maybe they are all little things and they've all added up, who knows...all I know is that life here has been frustrating because it seems like there are contradictions all around me.
There are points in life where all you feel you can do is scream, or cry, or scream and cry. I don't know why, but these last few weeks have been hard hitting, and it won't end until spring break, probably. I understand life is full of busyness and work and that we just have to get through it, and sometimes life is more work than play, but I just feel like I'm totally done with school and such.
I've had discussions with both my mom and with Michael, and it bothers me how this university, though it claims that this is such an amazing Catholic institution, yet in the people who come here, it doesn't necessarily seem that way. My mom pointed out, how much more in other institutions. Maybe it's because some of my values are different than my friends at other colleges and universities, but it just seems like they don't have the same issues I have here. Issues of people not being the best versions of themselves...or if they are, then that's scary that that's the best they can be.
It's not just the people here that have disappointed me, but different programs and expectations that have let me down. Ever since my brother was an RA (when I was eleven) I wanted to be an RA. Freshman year, my RA, Katie Kerr, changed my life. She is one of the most awesome people, and still checks up on me, and that meant a lot to me. This furthered my wanting to be an RA, and yet, I will not be one because of some dorm issues and some other issues...and this breaks my heart so much.
I came to Notre Dame because of ND Vision, thinking that I would be one of those college counselors, like John Paul, and Nikki, and Eric, and everyone else. Yet, I've tried three years to no avail. I feel like trying again next year, but that I still won't get it. And it makes me wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I'm not "pretty" or that I'm short or that I "look funny" because they make us submit a photo with our application, which makes me feel like we're judged on our looks, which doesn't seem Catholic to me.
I came to Notre Dame thinking I'd be joining this great community, this community of people who was a family, a family I wanted to belong to. A place where there was great fellowship and faith. Yet, the following happened: I was a part of the Freshman Peer Leader program, but had to discontinue due to working two jobs (a point i'll touch upon next). There was a retreat for FPL members coming up, and I still wanted to be a part of it because I thought it'd be cool. This is the response I got, "Since you are no longer a part of the Freshman Peer Leader program, you are not allowed to attend the FPL retreat." Uh, discrimination much? Whatever happened to being Catholic and understanding and acceptance?
Another thing that I am so frustrated about is the gap between the rich kids and the poor kids, it was there, and it wasn't bad, but now it just seems worse from the current economic situation. My boyfriend's father passed away, and before then, it wasn't like they were rolling in the millions, either...but that makes him responsible for paying for the house and the car and insurance and bills and everything...I work two jobs and am currently looking for a third job as well as try to maintain good grades while taking 20 credits so that I can pay off student loans, with over $2000 in interest already...yeah, interest. Then there are the students here who are rich because their parents came here and were successful, or their parents are just rich. Kids who don't realized how lucky and blessed to be here. Kids who get a mercedes for their 16th birthday. Of course there are people who have money and still have a level head...but really, the gap between the rich and poor here can be so apparent, and so hard on us that try to work and work just so that we have a chance at a life that others have without working at it.
The weird thing about this experience here is that though I dislike school here, or people here, or some of the policies or programs here...I still love Notre Dame and am so proud to be a part of it...but the Notre Dame I love is the Notre Dame the public sees, the Notre Dame that everyone is in awe of the fact that I attend school here. The Notre Dame that is prestigious and pays for students to come here based on need (yea, except it's only based on income, with no look at debt and medical bills), helping students foot the bill...guaranteeing that every student can and will receive aid if needed...and in full, if need be.
The university that I'm proud to be apart of is an ideal...but the reality is something far from this ideal. Is this ideal unachievable? Or has it been achieved and I'm blind to see it? Do I have too high of expectations? There are so many other things that bother me, maybe they are all little things and they've all added up, who knows...all I know is that life here has been frustrating because it seems like there are contradictions all around me.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Definitely had to bustle through too many ads for this result...
Free-IQTest.net - IQ Test
What an IQ score means
I don't know if I'm a genius if I endured all those ads for my score, haha. :)
A short letter
Dear Abyss,
I apologize for being extremely busy. I promise I haven't forgotten you. I will blog again soon.
Me
I apologize for being extremely busy. I promise I haven't forgotten you. I will blog again soon.
Me
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